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You have ever actually tried to use explaining the brewing
process as a pickup line.
You have trouble putting dishes in the dishwasher after you eat,
but you will spend an hour cleaning your equipment immediatley after
brewing.
You secretly think of your top loading washing machine's "Spray
Rinse" cycle as the "Sparge Cycle"
You look at your washing machine in general and think, "there's
gotta be a way I could make beer with that thing"
You've ever mopped your ceiling
You meet someone new at a party and they say 'oh yeah you're
the home made beer guy'
You prefer to do the dishes on the weekend rather
than let your wife wash the beer glasses just in case she doesn't
wash them
separatly or don't rinse enough...
You have ever spent an hour at Bunnings or BigW wandering
around aimlessly thinking of ways to use odd bits in there for brewing,
or
for making something brew related..
You walk into a new bottle shop with a small ball of anticipation
in your stomach, only to be dissapointed when they don't stock anything
unusual you could try..
You have ever looked in your vegetable drawer of the fridge
and proudly smiled at your small yeast library...
You think that a vacation trip to a monastery would be fun.
Hops and grain take up 75% of your freezer space
You wife asks why the washer/dryer are in the backyard? (making
room for chest freezer)
You keep telling yourself you're doing this to save money by
brewing your own, even though you could drink your entire life and
still only
spend half as much as you did on brewing equipment
You enjoy sniffing airlocks
You've ever asked the guy at the hardware store if something
is "food grade".
You've ever consumed a liquid that has a known bacterial infection
Your girlfriend complains that you love your beer more than her...
and you truly find it hard to argue
You try to figure out how to brew more than two batches in one
day
Your girlfriend mentions yeast and you run to the refrigerator
and take inventory,
You don't have any chocolate syrup for that crazy hot lovemaking
so you substitute LME
You can remember the dates of all of you best beers for the last
four years, but not your aniversary or wifes birthday
Your wife is talking about using
a disenfectant wash for her earrings and you tell her you have plenty
of it
not to buy any more. Then she thinks your talking about peroxide
and you say no starsan
the
presence of a basement was a major factor in the selection of your new
home.
You
plan your family vacations by which breweries you can visit.
You don't shower you sparge.
You use the baby monitor to make sure the beer is fermenting. After all it is
your baby.
Your child's
science project is on fermentation.
You and your beer
buddies dream that your wives are beer nymphs dancing naked around a boiling
kettle singing praises to the beer gods.
You hear the song
"Monster Mash" and think it is about a beer made for
Halloween.
You have plans to
turn a large portion of your basement into a refrigerator for long term
lagering.
You have ever found
yourself rinsing out empty beer bottles at someone else's
party.
When you ask for a
sample at the local brewery, you mean yeast slurry, not
beer.
You've planned the
landscaping at your new house around the location of your Cascade Hop
trellis!
You live in a small one bedroom
apartment, and you have two refridgerators.
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